....or so they say. Must they, though? It seems that way sometimes. Take friendships for example. In grade and high school, friendships are you life blood. It nearly kills you to go hours without certain friends. You share all your special moments, your deepest secrets, your darkest fears, and your greatest dreams.
After we graduated we swore we would stay friends. Maybe that's not realistic. She went to her school, I went to mine. We talked and visited and it seemed like nothing had changed when we got together. Maybe the key word there is 'when'. Our visits got less frequent but still things felt just the same when we did. We graduated college and moved on to other ventures. We were bridesmaids in each other's weddings.
And if you asked me what happened, I wouldn't be able to pinpoint it. Last Christmas we were supposed to get together and at the last minute she cancelled on me with a pretty weak excuse. I of all people understand, so I let it go. I've been there. Then this week I heard she was coming back to Iowa. I texted and asked if she was coming and if she wanted to get together....nothing. No response. Maybe I did do something. It's possible. I think maybe its just one of those good things that came to an end.
I have a few friendships that match this scenario. Not word for word exactly, but same gist. It hurts and it makes me feel old, but then I suppose that's life. Through the wonders of social networking I share in their joys and triumphs, and maybe that's enough.
I worry that I don't have enough true friendships anymore. Family, lots. Casual friends, lots. But other than brad not many that I share everything with. That's mostly my fault. When I met brad, he became my world. My friends still meant a lot to me...perhaps I just took them for granted.
No one will ever mimic the bond we shared, but I do have the memories...and one small heart tattoo...that will last forever.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
You know you're old when you don't know how old you are...
Thank you Lindsey for pointing out that I"m 28 1/2, not 27 1/2. That was kind of you. :) I clearly am not getting any younger or sharper.
Still haven't decided on a resolution. I've added a couple more to the list of potentials.
I'm going to really try to committ to attending mass on a regular basis. I'm not going to say every week, because I think that makes me doomed to fail, but I'm going to make an honest attempt to attend on a regular basis, not only for my own sake, but for piper's as well.
My other potential resolution is to improve my documenting of pipers life. More pictures, more everything.. I'd like to start a notebook/diary of her life. Daily entries of things she's said and done that are noteworthy. Haven't decided exactly how though. I thought maybe I'd start my own blog/webpage dedicated to her (and our family). Or maybe set up an email account for her and send her daily (er routine) emails and she can read them when she's older.
I have started another related blog that is going to be more centered around her specifically but our whole family too. I really want to stick with it. I also committed to joining an official Live Healthy Iowa team so hopefully that will motivate me to MOVE and not inhale every ounce of food I encounter. :) I also bought 3 marriage self help open communication books. So far what I've read has really opened my eyes to potential hazards and pitfalls that are easy to fall into. It makes you feel better that other people have had similar thoughts to yours and that it doesn't mean your marriage is doomed. It means you' re normal and that marriage is hard and takes real work and effort. It lets you know that it's okay to be frustrated and angry, but if you handle it the right healthy way, you'll have a happier stronger marriage because of those challenges. So anywho ;)
Happy almost weekend to you :)
Still haven't decided on a resolution. I've added a couple more to the list of potentials.
I'm going to really try to committ to attending mass on a regular basis. I'm not going to say every week, because I think that makes me doomed to fail, but I'm going to make an honest attempt to attend on a regular basis, not only for my own sake, but for piper's as well.
My other potential resolution is to improve my documenting of pipers life. More pictures, more everything.. I'd like to start a notebook/diary of her life. Daily entries of things she's said and done that are noteworthy. Haven't decided exactly how though. I thought maybe I'd start my own blog/webpage dedicated to her (and our family). Or maybe set up an email account for her and send her daily (er routine) emails and she can read them when she's older.
I have started another related blog that is going to be more centered around her specifically but our whole family too. I really want to stick with it. I also committed to joining an official Live Healthy Iowa team so hopefully that will motivate me to MOVE and not inhale every ounce of food I encounter. :) I also bought 3 marriage self help open communication books. So far what I've read has really opened my eyes to potential hazards and pitfalls that are easy to fall into. It makes you feel better that other people have had similar thoughts to yours and that it doesn't mean your marriage is doomed. It means you' re normal and that marriage is hard and takes real work and effort. It lets you know that it's okay to be frustrated and angry, but if you handle it the right healthy way, you'll have a happier stronger marriage because of those challenges. So anywho ;)
Happy almost weekend to you :)
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
New Year..New Beginnings?
2013...are you sure!?
It can't be. Where have all 27 1/2 of my years gone? I recently read an inspirational quote on pinterest that asked "Is what you're living for worth Christ dying for?"
Well that makes me feel pretty guilty. I'm not altogether unhappy. I don't feel like I'm letting God down in any extraordinary way. I haven't committed any major crimes or grievous sins (to my knowledge--just your average,every day, run of the mill sins). I do however feel like I should be living life more. Like maybe there's some big secret out there, and I'm not in on it. I wake up, go to work, come home, spend time with my family, go to bed, repeat. There are a few minor variances, but not many. Am I missing out?
A new year is always a time to reflect and take stock of yourself and your life. As I said, I'm not altogether unhappy, but do feel like something is missing and like I should change something. Where to start though?
I've tried resolutions in the past and have always failed. I have a few in mind for this year but worry that they will fall to the same fate. Should I make several and therefore increase my chances of one of them succeeding, or should I just pick one and focus all of my energy and committment to that sole resolution?
Some of the front runners this year are to improve my domestic skills, ie: Laundry, cooking, and organization in general. I feel like I am staying afloat in this area but could make my life a lot easier and more efficient if I fine tuned it. I'd also like to become more fluent in spanish. I do speak some (and understand more) but still am not able to converse effectively. It would greatly help out at work. Along with millions of other people around the world, I'd also like to lose weight/tone up/increase my fitness level/get HEALTHY! :) I've been doing the biggest loser at work and while I haven't gained any weight, I'm not losing any either. LOL, not sure if thats the point.
I've also considered having my resolution centered around my marriage. I was reading an article the other day that said all couples, new/not so new, old/young, married/just started dating, happy/unhappy...(you get the picture) should take a proactive approach to their marriage. It basically said that even the happiest of couples can let their relationship dissolve and a lot of marriages could be saved if people took a proactive approach to preventing their marriage from reaching that point. It made a lot of sense. I feel happy and content with my marriage. We fight like every couple. He has quirks that irriate me and vise versa but what if those things developed into something more and could have been prevented if we had learned to better communicate and prevent "toxic thinking"? We work hard at everything else in our lives, for instance our health. We participate in routine screening and health maintenance. Why wouldn't we do that in other aspects of our life that are important to us?
Regardless of what my resolution is this year, a few things will always be most important: My family, specifically Brad and Piper; and God.
It's easy to lose sight of that in the moment, especially when times are hard and stressful but in todays world, its even more important to hold close to that. Life can change in an instance so holding on tight to those that are dear is vital.
It can't be. Where have all 27 1/2 of my years gone? I recently read an inspirational quote on pinterest that asked "Is what you're living for worth Christ dying for?"
Well that makes me feel pretty guilty. I'm not altogether unhappy. I don't feel like I'm letting God down in any extraordinary way. I haven't committed any major crimes or grievous sins (to my knowledge--just your average,every day, run of the mill sins). I do however feel like I should be living life more. Like maybe there's some big secret out there, and I'm not in on it. I wake up, go to work, come home, spend time with my family, go to bed, repeat. There are a few minor variances, but not many. Am I missing out?
A new year is always a time to reflect and take stock of yourself and your life. As I said, I'm not altogether unhappy, but do feel like something is missing and like I should change something. Where to start though?
I've tried resolutions in the past and have always failed. I have a few in mind for this year but worry that they will fall to the same fate. Should I make several and therefore increase my chances of one of them succeeding, or should I just pick one and focus all of my energy and committment to that sole resolution?
Some of the front runners this year are to improve my domestic skills, ie: Laundry, cooking, and organization in general. I feel like I am staying afloat in this area but could make my life a lot easier and more efficient if I fine tuned it. I'd also like to become more fluent in spanish. I do speak some (and understand more) but still am not able to converse effectively. It would greatly help out at work. Along with millions of other people around the world, I'd also like to lose weight/tone up/increase my fitness level/get HEALTHY! :) I've been doing the biggest loser at work and while I haven't gained any weight, I'm not losing any either. LOL, not sure if thats the point.
I've also considered having my resolution centered around my marriage. I was reading an article the other day that said all couples, new/not so new, old/young, married/just started dating, happy/unhappy...(you get the picture) should take a proactive approach to their marriage. It basically said that even the happiest of couples can let their relationship dissolve and a lot of marriages could be saved if people took a proactive approach to preventing their marriage from reaching that point. It made a lot of sense. I feel happy and content with my marriage. We fight like every couple. He has quirks that irriate me and vise versa but what if those things developed into something more and could have been prevented if we had learned to better communicate and prevent "toxic thinking"? We work hard at everything else in our lives, for instance our health. We participate in routine screening and health maintenance. Why wouldn't we do that in other aspects of our life that are important to us?
Regardless of what my resolution is this year, a few things will always be most important: My family, specifically Brad and Piper; and God.
It's easy to lose sight of that in the moment, especially when times are hard and stressful but in todays world, its even more important to hold close to that. Life can change in an instance so holding on tight to those that are dear is vital.
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