Five Weeks

I'm starting to think I should have been blogging about this engagement and planning for this wedding all along. How else will I remember all the feelings I had??

Well better late than never I guess, which totally is not my motto. I'm generally 20 minutes early for anything and everything I have to be at, but for this, that motto will suffice.

Less than 5 weeks until I say I do. I'm -- well...I don't know what I am. I'm still kind of in "its not really real" mode right now. I thought that once I had all my wedding showers that it would hit me, and it really hasn't. My bachelorette party is this weekend in Des Moines, so I'm hoping that that will kick me into high wedding gear. :) Don't get me wrong, I'm SOO excited, but it all sort of still feels like a dream.

I've sent out my invites and that was a big check off the to-do list, but I don't feel as relieved as I thought I would. I guess I still have so many other small things to do, that its not like I'm done planning or organizing. I think once all the major bills like the photographer and cake lady are paid, then I'll feel settled about it all. Thats going to be interesting. The photographer is going to be about 4-5,000 dollars and my parents, not to mention, Brad are going to have a stroke about it! I probably should have went a less expensive route but the photography is sooo important to me, and no one really gets that. I don't know. I'm going to help pay for it, but as my money is already direct deposited into Brad's account its not like I can give him any more of my money than he's already getting. We'll see I guess. If worse comes to worse I guess we won't have a photographer.

I guess also as I'm in vent mode, I feel sort of jilted by some of my bridesmaids. I mean I realize most of them live forever away and they can't make it to the showers or bachelorette party, but I feel like no one is excited about it except me. I guess I get that for them its really not exciting, but it wouldn't hurt for someone to fake excitement. Oh well. My fault for choosing bridesmaids that live several states away.

Anyways, for the most part, I'm having fun and I'm not too stressed. I'm just ready for it to be here. :)